Book review: ‘I’m Your Horse in the Night’

Brianne Kane – Special to the Southern News

This story, a change of pace for the semester, “I’m Your Horse in the Night” by Luisa Valenzuela is a love story, turned war movie, with a twist of the magical. We’re thrust into a world where we know no one’s name, for everyone’s name is merely a code name or nickname, where we have no idea why the world seems so dark, nor do we know if we’re awake or dreaming. A short story of about two printed pages – it is obviously a quick read, however definitely one that will stick. It’s almost terrifying how quickly you can relate however – oh what, you’ve never been in love? You’ve never been in love with someone who isn’t around, who can’t be around? Someone call Romeo and Juliet, and tell them they’ve been upstaged and re-dramatized in “I’m Your Horse in the Night” by Luisa Valenzuela – by characters that don’t even have names!

The love story is understood immediately, however so is the fear: the short story begins with knocks on the door, a pattern as a signal, but for who? For him; the narrator says, “I opened the door expecting anything except him, face to face, at last” and we all understand. She’s been waiting for him, missing and loving him from afar, and now he’s back. They embrace. I describe their intimacy as an “embrace” because it is more than a hug, something sexier and more sensual – they embrace, like our archaic memories of princess and princesses embracing in court, chastely and lovingly. But then, better than the stories of princesses and princes these lovers actually get to have sex! Their hug becomes sexier, not just a carnal desire for each other but them missing each other, wishing to soak each other up. They drink. They listen to music. They talk and joke. They cuddle. They love.

Slowly we learn more about where this mysterious man has been, “up north” and “hiding” somewhere about a revolution where he could have been “tortured and killed.” A tortured war hero, fighting a revolution (to free people), who loves you? Count me in! You can’t help but love this mysterious “Beto” (a nickname, “I know that isn’t his real name, but it’s the only one I can call him out loud”)! Soon, after love making they fall asleep. Dreaming. She wakes up by the phone ringing, and notices he’s gone – ah, that’s like him apparently, how mysterious and lovely. “Beto” is dead, the voice on the receiver says. But how? That can’t be true! – again we feel the fear of the story and the war these characters exist in, as the police suddenly barge in the love story turns into a story of torture and doom.

Our eyes and ears suddenly are assaulted as our protagonist is literally tortured by the police. Here, we’re reminded this short story takes places during the very real Argentine “Dirty War,” a war deserving of its name which occurred between 1955 and 1975. Here, we see our protagonist begins being questioned about “Beto” and where he could be now, if he was even with the protagonist before, where he was before that?

At the end however, is the big part: “[Beto] if it’s true that they killed you, or wherever you may be, Beto, I’m your horse in the night and you can inhabit me whenever you wish, even if I’m behind bars.” You can’t ignore the sex, but you also can’t ignore the love, the devotion – and the cruelty those two beautiful things exist in. Then, the ending lands a double punch of our protagonist, our dear, dear protagonist who can’t help but love this man who is being followed by these corrupted and evil police. The protagonist ends with “if by some wild chance there’s a Gal Costa record and a half-empty bottle of cachaca in my house, I hope they’ll forgive me: I will them out of existence.” Here she remembers the drink and the music they listened to while love making, and says she “wills” them “out of existence” which is strong language, but also very distant and cold. By the end of the short story, us readers don’t know if we’re in love with “Beto” or if the protagonist just dreamed it, and thus we did too. Or is the protagonist lying, because she’s still in police custody and still being tortured? Good luck figuring it out.