Tag Archives: spoof

SPOOF: Southern sports coaches go on strike


Aaron Johnson – Sports Editor  The consensus is in. Southern Connecticut State University coaches are going on strike against the university that has continued to cut funding to athletic teams in order to build new facilities around campus. “Frankly we are tired of our teams suffering,” said Mike Donnelly, the Southern Connecticut men’s basketball coach. “It isn’t fair to watch

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SPOOF: Southern offers new language program in High Valyrian


Jess Pellegrino – General Assignment Reporter  ‘Skoriot ñuhyz zaldrīzesse ilzi?’ The Southern Connecticut State University will be introducing a pilot program through the university’s World Languages department. Starting next semester, amongst classics like French, Spanish and German, students will be able to major or minor in High Valyrian. The major will consist of nine semesters of language intensive lab work.

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SPOOF: Fitch Street Garage to be imploded for new medical clinic


Dylan Haviland – General Assignment Reporter  The Fitch Street garage has served as a convenient parking arrangement for campus commuters.  Nestled near Davis Hall, the garage while often crowded is the closest parking space to several halls, saving students time and energy. In a new agreement with the nursing department, President Mary A. Papazian has made plans to permanently alter

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Spoof: Study proves social media is linked to causing cancer


Natalie Barletta – Special to the Southern News Before you update your status and check your newsfeed, you might want to read this first. According to brand new  research done straight out of Yale, using social networking sites, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, has in fact been linked to cancer.     “According to my recent studies in my super fancy

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Spoof: All private Snapchats leaked to public website


Jene Thomas – Special to the Southern News             As of Wednesday, March 26, 2014, any snapchat photo sent to the opposite gender will be automatically sent to all their friends. You may not want to participate in this week’s Thong Thursday, popularly promoted by the Twitter account Collegefession, where college students admit to all sorts of provocative activities at their

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