Today: Oct 07, 2024

Spoof: ‘American Idol’ judges will be judging contestants for Southern Idol

Josh Falcone – General Assignment Reporter 

     Recently, Southern Connecticut State University along with Simon Fuller announced that Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban, and Harry Connick Jr. will judge the next Southern Idol competition. Fuller said that having the three ‘American Idol’ judges, Lopez, Urban, and Connick Jr. take part in Southern Idol is one of his greatest accomplishments. “In my long illustrious career,” Fuller said, “this is the one they will remember me for, taking the amazing judging skills offered by the ‘American Idol’ judges and bringing it to the campus of Southern Connecticut State University. I’m a genius.”

     Fuller said the goal was to have the ‘American Idol’ judges be a part of Southern Idol last year, but due to the constant bickering and fighting of diva’s Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj, the plan had to be postponed. “With Mariah and Nicki constantly at each others throats, we could not, with a clear conscience, bring them to the Southern’s campus,” Fuller said. “Also, Mariah said she would light Nicki’s wig on fire if she had to share one more stage with her, that wouldn’t have been a good thing. People lighting each other’s hair on fire is never a good thing.”

     Randy Jackson, who is currently an in-house mentor on ‘American Idol’ but was still a judge last year, said he was disappointed that they did not judge last year’s Southern Idol. “I was looking forward to judging the amazing talent at Southern, dog, but of course, those two old bitties went and ruined it,” Jackson said. “I heard they got great food on that campus.”

Urban said he is excited to be judging the next Southern Idol, and cannot wait to get behind the judges’ table. “I’m absolutely ecstatic to be judging this contest,” Urban said. “I am hoping to find the next Psy or Ed Sheeran.”

     Southern sophomore Kevin O’Connell said he is really excited for Southern Idol to start.

“I think it is going to be amazing,” he said, “with all the talented people we have on this campus. Who the hell am I kidding? I cannot wait for JLo to be on campus, damn, have you seen her lately? She is absolutely gorgeous, I just want to smell her hair.”

     Political science major Mary Shepard said she was not that excited by the appearance of the ‘American Idol’ judges at the campus’ singing contest. “I don’t really care for that show and I don’t know what the big deal is,” Shepard said. “Now if they got the judges from ‘The Voice,’ oh my God, that would be fantastic. I don’t care which cast it was though, as long as Adam Levine was involved, yum. Is there any way the judges of ‘The Voice’ is coming to Southern, or maybe just Adam Levine?”

     Lopez, who recently returned to the ‘American Idol’ judges’ table, said she is honored to be judging Southern Idol. “It is truly an honor to be a member of the Southern Idol judge’s table,” Lopez said beaming. “I think the singing talent that is going to be on the Lyman Hall stage will surpass anything we the judges have seen before. Scotty McCreery and Phillip Phillips ain’t got nothing on the singers at Southern.” Ryan Seacrest will not be part of Southern Idol because he will be doing one of his 50 other jobs but he said the contest should be amazing. “Southern Idol is shaping up to be a nail biting, edge of your seat event,” Seacrest said before adding, “Seacrest out.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Latest from Blog

Don't Miss

School of Business opens new building

Jaylen Carr – Editor-in-Chief From two-time Grammy winner Jeff Baxter to Gov.

Photo Gallery: Students move into the dorms for the fall

Luke Gadson– Sports Editor Jaylen Carr- Editor-in-Chief