Michelle Hennessy – News Writer
Every week we receive thousands of messages about how we’re supposed to behave, look and fit into society, preventing us from being ourselves, according to assistant counselor at Southern’s Counseling Services, Denise Zack.
“We receive something like 16,000 messages a week about how we are supposed to be,” said Zack. “Every message that we get from the time we get up to the time we go to bed is to fit in. That we should look a certain way to fit in and act a certain way to fit in. Some people can really struggle with that.”
Counseling Services is offering a six-week program called “The Art Of Being Enough” every Wednesday in Farnham’s basement to help students discover their true self and accept imperfections, according to Zack.
“The art of being enough; how you walk through life in a world that is trying to change you,” said Zack. “This program is about awareness and how we walk through life and how you perceive yourself through life.”
As part of last week’s discussion, students decorated two masks, one that represented the mask they wear to fit in, and one they wear when they belong to highlight how people can change who they are to fit in.
“When we are trying to fit in we are not being authentic,” said Zack. “Belonging is about being who you are and fitting in regardless of our little quirks. Why is it bad to be imperfect?”
Zack highlighted the dangers of not being yourself.
“If you wear a mask all the time the only person you’re really rejecting is yourself,” said Zack. “That can take a toll on a person after a while. It’s not about getting rid of the mask, it’s about understanding it and being aware that the belonging side of you has needs.”
Students after the event said they came away realizing how important it is to not let society dictate how people should behave to fit in.
“I came because I thought it sounded cool and wanted to see what it was all about,” said psychology junior Heather Bloch. “I liked that it was a group discussion and it wasn’t going to be just one person talking, it was going to be really involving. I learnt that it’s just OK to be yourself. It’s OK to take the mask off every now and then.”
Throughout the event Zack explained how much pressure is put on students to outperform one another, creating an ideal that is often too much to live up to.
“We are trained to be on a treadmill all the time,” said Zack. “College students have so much stress, whether it’s college work, other work, family responsibilities, financial obligations, the list goes on. Students from this generation are facing more stresses than any previous one. There’s constant competition. One student has a lot of work, another student has a lot of work and holding down a job, another student has work and a job and something else and it makes you second guess yourself, are you doing enough?”
Public Health sophomore Heather Wildman said she thinks it would help students to get more involved around campus.
“I feel like the first place you should look is your school, you’re paying all this money to go to school here and they do have a lot of different sides, it’s not just educational,” said Wildman. “I know some people that started out by going to their school and then going out from there and finding their way through life.”
She said going to the event helped her realize how important it is to be herself.
“With me, I just like flowing the way I like to flow,” said Wildman. “It validated a lot, it’s always nice being reassured that it’s good to be who you really are and accepting that side of yourself. Regardless of what other people think – always be you.”
