Today: Sep 16, 2026

Opinions- Page 129

Spoof: Campus ‘winning’ with Provost Sheen

Stephanie Paulino, Managing Editor: Just weeks after news spread of Provost and Chief Academic Officer Selase Williams’ planned departure at the end of the year, top university officials have appointed his replacement,
04/07/2011

Spoof: Campus police ban student parking

Stephanie Paulino, Managing Editor: Starting construction on new parking garages, campus police have required commuter students to find alternative methods to reach the university, eliminating parking in commuter lots. “We all have
04/07/2011

Spoof: Busted brothel on Fitch Street

Jessica Giannone, General Assignment Reporter: A “cathouse” was reported to be operating on campus last Thursday, according to Southern police chief, Joseph Dooley, who said a local pedestrian informed him off the
04/07/2011

Spoof: Southern bro explains it all

Ronny Myers, Undergraduate Bro: As the number one undisputed bro on campus, I’ve got some serious expectations from my fellow students. On one side, you have people like myself who view my
04/07/2011

Spoof: Live mascots come to Southern

Dotty Spencer, Bird Lover: Southern’s mascot, the owl, is supposed to represent wisdom, strength, and agility. But too often I hear that not enough Southern students have school spirit aside from the
04/07/2011
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