Today: Apr 23, 2024

Cracking up at our country’s crazy state laws

Similar to the Hollywood law, above, many state and city laws enacted are too strange to believe.

Jessica Giannone, General Assignment Reporter:
I never thought I’d see the day I’d get arrested for walking backwards after sunset. Yes, apparently in Devon, CT, it is unlawful to do that. This is one of the many silly laws in the country (which to my guess, probably isn’t enforced), that makes me question the true priorities in this world.
I spent countless hours of the day amusing myself with these unbelievable laws. Some were hilarious beyond belief; others just made me mad (because of the fact they were so outrageously unnecessary)!
So here is some entertainment for three minutes (I didn’t bother checking the credibility in these because frankly, they’re pointless on their own):
In Connecticut: Only white Christmas lights are allowed on display (Guilford); it is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday (Hartford); you aren’t allowed to cross the street while walking on your hands (Ok, I see the logic in this, but really? Whoever attempted to do this deserves a medal). Dogs with tattoos must be reported to the police; you cannot educate a dog; a politician can’t campaign in the town dump (I’d like to know who attempted that); the state still retains an old law forbidding any kind of “private sexual behavior between consenting adults,” (Yea, this one will definitely work out). Under Code 1650 in the New Haven Colony (in what is now Connecticut), a 16-year-old boy could be put to death if he “cursed, struck or disobeyed” his parents or was “stubborn or rebellious.” It is illegal for any beautician to hum, whistle or sing while working on a customer; a pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces.
In New York: A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting; a man cannot be seen in public while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match (since when do lawmakers care about fashion?); during a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks (because you know, I do that every day); you may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand; it is illegal for women to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing,” (should I bother to comment?); citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers.”
In Ocean City: It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.
Other random laws: You cannot ride an ugly horse (What?! How do you know if it’s ugly?). In Maryland, it is illegal to take a lion to the movies (I don’t even have a response). In some states, you cannot cross the border with a duck on your head or a gorilla in your back seat; a man owns his wife’s hair; you cannot kiss under water; it is illegal to have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub after 7 p.m. (Darn!). It is illegal to hold more than two sessions of Bingo per week, and those sessions must not exceed five hours; a woman may not appear in public with unshaven hair; you may not run out of gas (Ohio).
These don’t even begin to cover the crazy laws I’ve come across. I’m making it my new mission to challenge them. Look for me on the news. I’ll probably be in jail for “giving a cat a lighted cigar.”

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