Dear Dr. Strangelove,
So I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month. The first two times we hung out we went out to a club, got completely wasted and hooked up. The third and last time we saw each other I invited him over for a simple dinner and a movie night. We spent the whole night cuddling, laughing and talking about everything from love to what our favorite Indian spices were.
I want to see him again but over the weekend I had a sudden realization that rubbed me the wrong way. Every time we’ve been together I was the one that initiated it. He made no attempt to call me and see what I was doing; I’ve been the one who’s invited him to go out or hang out with me and my friends.
I’m trying not to get attached but I really like this kid. But after this realization I’m starting to question whether the feeling is mutual on his end since he hasn’t invited me out or called me to see what I was doing. What should I do and why won’t he pick up the damn phone and give me a call!?
– Confused Adolescent Loathing Love
While I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, this sounds like the beautiful beginning of a one-sided relationship. You’re the one who made all the effort to see him and bring him out with your friends and into your world, but he hasn’t done the same for the following reasons:
1. He isn’t interested in you enough to want to be the one to initiate spending time together. Or you’re just a booty call. Either way you need to stop getting attached and see the relationship you have with him for what it is. Fun when you’re together but it isn’t going to go anywhere. On the plus side though, you’re the one with the power to call him whenever you want. This could be used to your advantage when-ever you need some lovin’.
2. He’s afraid of getting attached or thinks that you and your friends are “too cool.” He could be intimidated by you and doesn’t know how to appraoch wanting to spend time with you. It’s annoying to you because all you really want is for him to pick up the f%cking phone and call you but he could be afraid. Maybe he does like you? Who knows.
If I were you I would wait it out for a couple days or a week to see if he calls you. Maybe when he realizes you haven’t called in a while he’ll grow a pair and give you a jingle. But don’t be upset if he doesn’t call. Unfortunately you can’t force someone to be interested in you (it blows, doesn’t it). Just keep telling yourself it’s his loss and you can always have a physical relationship/friendship if you’re willing to go that route.