Carissa Duhamel – Copy Editor
Thanksgiving came and went last week, and though for many celebrities it was a holiday spent with loved ones, laughter, copious amounts of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and other late fall delectables, for others it was another opportunity for headline-snatching drama, and in one sad case, fatal tragedy.
Members of Hollywood’s elite warmed up to the celebratory spirit at the American Music Awards last week, an event that predictably featured performances by much of the same tired “rebel spirit” starlets (Rihanna, 25, and Miley Cyrus, 21, I’m looking at you) speckled by a few golden nuggets of on stage gold. Perhaps the most odd and compelling of these was an unexpected duet put on by the queen of theatre, Lady Gaga, 27, and R&B’s resident pedophile, R. Kelly, 46. The two reinterpreted the trope of the president and his mistress through song with Gaga channeling a Monica Lewinsky-like character physically resemblant of Marilyn Monroe, and Kelly playing a sort of Kennedy, Clinton, Obama, and the president in “Scandal” hybrid. Despite the extremely unconventional pairing and premise, the performance proved to be among the most memorable of the night, largely due to Gaga’s impeccable pipes.
Other performances included a decidedly disappointing throwback by TLC with rapper Lil Mama, 24, replacing the late “Left Eye” Lisa Lopes, and Miley Cyrus singing in front of a cat (how very Tumblr). Also, Justin Timberlake, 32, showed Taylor Swift, 23, exactly how much of a joke she is by making her signature “surprised at receiving an award face” after winning an award, but two feet from her face. Oh, sweet Illuminati politics.
Outside of the AMA’s, Kanye West, 36, released the video for his single “Bound 2” which featured him riding a motorcycle with his baby mother nakedly straddling him from every position possible and sending blank pouty looks to the camera. While he and Kim, 33, were busy rewatching themselves simulate bike sex in front of a green screen, geniuses of comedy James Franco, 35, and Seth Rogen, 31, recreated every scene from the video shot for shot to hilarious results. Allegedly, Kardashian and Kanye also shared in the humor.
“You nailed it!!! Sooo funny!” the new mother tweeted, followed by a retweet of Rogen’s link to the video before going on to comment on behalf of her fiancé, “Kanye says what’s up! He loves u guys! He laughed so hard at this.” Whether or not the couple truly found the spoof funny is up to speculation, but this author suspects laughter was feigned in the K and K household.
In more undercover affairs, Jennifer Aniston, 44, was exposed spending Thanksgiving with best friend Courteney Cox, 49, and young English singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran, 22 – but without fiancé Justin Theroux, 42, in sight. Aniston, her manager Aleen Keshishian, and Sheeran were pictured happily together in an Instagram photo captioned “Happythanksgiving #jenniferaniston @aleenkeshishian #edsheeran.” Aniston and Theroux recently were reported to have put their wedding plans on hold, so his absence in the photo may reflect rough times in their engagement. As Christmas nears any fragments in their relationships will become more glaringly obvious.
In much less trivial, and far more tragic news, “Fast and Furious” star Paul Walker died at 40 years old in a fatal car accident in Southern California two days after Thanksgiving. The actor was riding as a passenger in a friend’s vehicle en route to a charity event to aid Filipino victims of Typhoon Haiyan when the car crashed and erupted into a mass of flames. Both riders in the car were pronounced dead, which provoked immediate reactions across the Hollywood community.
Representatives at Universal Studios issued a statement expressing their grief, “All of us at Universal are heartbroken. Paul was truly one of the most beloved and respected members of our studio family for 14 years, and this loss is devastating to us, to everyone involved with the FAST AND FURIOUS films, and to countless fans. We send our deepest and most sincere condolences to Paul’s family.”
Walker leaves behind 15-year-old Meadow, his daughter with his ex-girlfriend Rebecca McBrain.