‘What’s your love language?’ talks relationships
Are gifts a visual symbol of one’s gratitude and love? Or are they a superficial cop-out from someone who puts a price tag on a relationship? The What’s Your Love Language event surveyed student opinion on how they give and receive love, as well as the diversity in which relationships are established and affected.
In Wilkinson Hall, students were given a stapled questionnaire. A total of 30 paired answers were printed across the survey, allowing each student to pick which of the statements best identifies their attitude towards a relationship. Letters running from A to E prefaced each question to indicate afterwards which categories students chose as their most important feature of the relationship to the least important.
Afterward, students were able to indicate which categories they thought are the most important feature of a relationship to the least important. The categories were words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and gift giving.
Holly Montpelier, a senior, social work major, coordinated this event by herself. She said that she found it important for people to better understand their relationships, and this survey can encourage students to think a bit differently about how their relationship is viewed.
Elijah Ortiz, a freshman and exercise science major, said that he found the survey valid in assessing priorities in a relationship. However, he added that he did not find the results entirely reflective of his relationship personally. Although ‘words of affirmation’ was his second largest tally, as he expected, he had thought physical touch would be at the top.
“In my past relationships, it feels like it’s been, like, one of the major things in my relationships. But that could also be my partner. Maybe my partner made me feel that way,” said Ortiz.
Last on his list was ‘gift giving.’ He said he feels that other aspects, like quality time, are much more defining in a relationship.
Sammy Collier, freshman, environmental science major, agreed with Ortiz’s judgement. He said that the test did not exactly match what he had hoped for, as quality time ended up trumping his preferable category, acts of service.
“I think there is a time and place for relationships, but there also needs to be distance so you can kind of, like, stay your own person and not be too invested,” said Collier. “Because when you invest yourself too much into a relationship, it takes away from all the other aspects of your life.”
He said that if someone would go out of their way and prioritize their partner, it shows how deeply they care for the other person and that the other partner is willing to share the burden of responsibility.
Collier and Ortiz agreed that the survey could have been formed differently so questions do not seem as repetitive, and they also said that some of the answers were chosen just to avoid circling the other.
Montpelier said that most students who took the survey had their categories accurately reflect their relationship personally. She was apt to emphasize that, as others did, one’s survey does not speak for the rest.
“I don’t think there is an ideal relationship,” said Montpelier. “I think it’s just how you make out of it, as long it’s healthy. I don’t think there should be anything ideal.”