Dylan Haviland – Special to the Southern News
Halloween is that one time of the year where horror films show their grit and give audiences a scare of a lifetime. As with every generation of new filmmakers and actors, horror receives a new batch of remakes that grace the silver screen.
More often than not, horror fails miserably when it comes to remakes. Some are even so painful to watch they are funny, these films comprised in this list are some of the cinemas most miserably failed horror remakes.
1. Every The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Reboot 1994-2013
In this day and age it has become established that perhaps audiences are tired of chainsaw wielding maniacs. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre has become one of those horror movie series that has become mercilessly been drawn out again and again.
Whether it is Texas native himself, Matthew Mcconaughey, decking it out as a deranged maniac in Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994). Perhaps the painfully repetitive group of murder inclined young adults as seen in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006). Overall, the franchise has steadily become worn out and repetitive.
None of the countless of remakes come even close to Tobe Hooper’s original The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974). Which used innovation under an extremely low budget to produce a film that re-imagined slasher films for decades to come.
2. Friday the 13th (2009)
Foolish young adults, a summer home, plenty of alcohol and bad decisions make the checklist in this generic remake of Sean S. Cunningham’s 1980 Friday the 13th. As if the cast was dislikable enough by their pure predictability, the lack of true scares will really push you to click the off button.
The problem with this film is how it brings in no new elements. For viewers that are not new to slasher films nothing will strike you as surprising or no less disturbing in this film. Everyone knows that this masked killer is bringing across his evil vengeance on teens, there is no deeper subplot to explore. This remake only offers cheap thrills and cheaper visual effects.
3. The Thing (2011)
John Carpenter’s 1982 The Thing achieved horror film gold. It involved an excellent cast consisting of one of the 80’s prominent action hero Kurt Russell. Who played a scientist in Antarctica with a new found talent for fighting flesh warping aliens. The film incorporated excellent use of effects with a believable cast.
The 2011 remake tosses this all aside for a film with less spirit. While John Carpenter, a horror legend, is admittedly hard to one up the film relies too heavily on special effects to carry itself through.
While the monsters are grotesque and disturbing, it felt like watching a cut scene from a video game. Movie goers will never regain the same feeling of seeing Kurt Russell combat aliens with a flame thrower.
4. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
As with John Carpenter, sometimes it is very difficult to recapture a horror movies director’s vision. Wes Craven’s 1984 A Nightmare on Elm Street has become a horror staple to film critics. Samuel Bayer’s rendition attempts to revive the dreaded killer Freddy Krueger fails miserably.
Although the reimagining of Krueger is interesting it lacks the soul that the first film posses. As with a lost art form many of these recreations do not harbor the same shock value. Horror film fanatics have heard already of a demon that haunts people’s dreams. Unless you have never heard of A Nightmare on Elm Street, this will lack any surprises.
5. Children of the Corn (2009)
Stephen King fans were looking forward to this rendition of the 1984 film and best-selling short story. All hopes were shattered though with this direct to TV runoff. With an extremely unimpressive cast, you would have to watch to comprehend how bad it was. One can almost beg for the movie to be over.
It is almost painful to listen to the monotonous voices of the children who set out to kill all adults that travel into their land. The fight scenes between the children and adults is almost laughable, as you really never care about any of the characters.
Photo Credit: Boogeyman13, Sanjeev Beekeeper
