Melanie Sabol – Copy Editor
You’ve been with your boyfriend or girlfriend for sometime now and you’ve both reached that decision that you think it’s time to take the next step in your relationship. The next step isn’t quite marriage yet, but making the decision to moving in together.
Moving in with just a friend as a roommate is one thing – but moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend means for some drastic changes. Once living with them you learn every little quirk that can either do one of two things: bring you closer or drive you apart. You’re a neat freak and you realize they are messier than you thought. But some how you will have to work through those differences because of your relationship.
Nicole Shashinka, a senior here at Southern Connecticut State University, believes that it would be highly beneficial to move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend before marriage. “I think it’s definitely a good idea to live with someone before marriage,” said Shashinka. “You can get to know each other because you will be seeing them nonstop.”
“I think that if you can learn as much as possible before marriage it’s a good thing,” said Shashinka. “The more you know about each other just solidifies the fact that you are sure you want to be together. There won’t be any surprises once you’re married then. Either living together can make or break the relationship.”
However, Philip Kennedy, also a senior here at Southern Connecticut State University, does not agree with Shashinka. Kennedy thinks that it would only hurt the relationship before marriage instead of helping.
“If you wanted to live with someone that you loved you would already be married to them,” said Kennedy. “Moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend could work but I have seen them also destroy relationships. By being around your boyfriend or girlfriend 24/7, you learn everything that you would learn about them once you were married.”
“Moving in with someone before you’re ready can really be detrimental to the relationship,” Kennedy went onto say.
However, I believe that if you and your boyfriend or girlfriend have reached that point in your relationship where marriage someday (soon) is an option, I say go ahead and move in with them. Every little (sometimes more than annoying) detail will be discovered and worked out before you have a ring on your finger.
If you decide that moving in together is the road the two of you want to travel down, here are some tips. Be able to talk about the big move out and work out any kinks before you do actually move in. Make sure that all lines of communication are left open – so that way there are no secrets left behind in the closet. You are now living in close quarters, which now means you are more likely to have fights. Pick and choose your battles wisely. Just because they don’t pick up their towel off the bathroom floor a few times does not mean it needs to be a full on brawl. Remember that now your behavior now reflects more than just your actions – that means no hastier decision-making without talking it out with your significant other. Just because you are living with your boyfriend or girlfriend does not mean you have to lose who you are. Still go out with your friends and do your own thing. You’re not married (yet) be young and in college now before you have to fully settle down. Most of all remember to be a good roommate and boyfriend or girlfriend to your significant other by being honest and upfront. If you don’t like way things are going in your new place or relationship talk it out.
Overall, each individual relationship will decide whether or not you are ready to take that next step. Don’t rush into it if you are not ready.
