Today: Jun 17, 2024

Where’s the “Girl Code” / “Guy Code” handbook?

Brianne Kane – Copy Editor

College is about planning for your future: the job you want, the kind of person you want to be, and the people you choose to surround yourself with. Who is going to be your best friend? Your boyfriend/girlfriend/zefriend? It would be so much easier if we all had our own handy dandy handbook of solutions, but instead there’s a “Girl Code” and “Guy Code” that everyone talks about but no one agrees on.

One of the biggest chapters in the “Girl Code” / “Guy Code” handbook that causes debate is about hooking up. First, what exactly constitutes as hooking up? Kissing, sex, or are there still bases? Before that though, you must quadruple check the rules surrounding who you may hook up with or under what circumstances. The “Guy Code” seems strict about not hooking up with an ex of another friend. SUNY Albany student Patrick Piedra admits that “never hook up with a bro’s ex” is his number one “Guy Code” rule.


For a lot of guys, Barney from CBS’s How I Met Your Mother is famous for his “Bro Code” which argues “bros before hoes” is truly the first rule. The “Girl Code” however is more subtle on these issues, hooking up being one that is still arguably entirely undetermined. For most girls, “Girl Code” is less a strict set of predetermined rules (unlike their male counterparts who do seems to view the code this way) and see it more as a circumstantial starting point, but not worth arguing the validity of a “Girl Code.”

Even considering that, senior Shelby Kromisar said that her and her friends agree that “don’t hook up with a friend’s ex” is, if not the most important rule, at least in the top five.

Another part of the code that causes the most debate is the rules surrounding friendships and the defining qualities of a friendship, a partnership, or “frenemy” relationship. For example, could you date a guy who has entirely girl friends? Or date a girl with entirely guy friends? A lot of students admit that would be awkward, make them uncomfortable or it’d be a deal breaker – but why? Where is this judgment coming from? The “Girl Code” / “Guy Code.”

The “Bro Code” clearly states “Bro’s before hoes” (and ignoring the debate over the distinction between “girl” and “hoe” in terms of the Bro/Guy Code) this seems to bring about a problem: can a bro be friends with hoes, instead of fellow bros?

As most would agree, the “Girl Code” / “Guy Code” does not limit itself to romantic relationships but friendships as well. One of the biggest confusions between the “Girl Code” and the “Guy Code” is when the lines between friendship and romance are blurred – commonly known as The Friend Zone. The Friend Zone is the epitome of the “Girl Code” and the “Guy Code” seemingly not having the same rules, somewhere the wires get crossed between treating each other as friends and treating each other flirtatiously.


Hypothetically, if you meet someone and start flirting and hanging out more and more, only to find out definitively that they only think of you as a friend – you’re apparently in The Friend Zone. The problem with “Girl Code” / “Guy Code” having different understanding of this concept, and friendship in general is how people react when they think they’ve been put in that Friend Zone. The “Guy Code” seems to allot a certain amount of freaking out to the guy put into The Friend Zone. Again, the codes don’t match up on this either, as most girls would agree with junior Nora Maklad when she said “grow up and deal.” Girls seem to have little sympathy for this miscommunication about the code, as most girls would say being confused about how someone feels about you does not give you the right to throw a grown man sized temper tantrum.

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