Today: Jun 25, 2024

Celebrity gossip: Hannah Montana funeral and trouble in Kardashianland

Robin Thicke and Miley Cyrus during their VMA performance

Carissa DuhamelCopy Editor

While everyone at SCSU was flashing their finest on campus for the first week back to school, our celebrity counterparts were unable to present themselves in such a flattering light. The past week in Hollywood was eye opening, to say the very least.

Though anyone with a twitter, a TV or an Instagram page likely already knows the ‘Hannah Montana’ version of Miley Cyrus is a relic of the ancient past, her performance at the VMAs this past Sunday, August 25th, confirmed that the Disney star is dead and buried…with Miley’s spit on her grave. Cyrus stepped on stage to give the audience, and America, a performance that can be described as no less than disturbing and physically repulsive. The 20 year-old singer emerged from the belly of what appeared to be a robot-spaceship-teddy bear hybrid creature-machine to the words ‘Twerk it out’ with her tongue stuck inhumanly out of the corners of her face and playing with hair that no one else could seem to see or feel but her. She then began dancing accompanied by an entourage of teddy bears and what seemed to be Twerk Team wannabes.

After this point, the performance crosses the line from Hollywood weird to humanly unwatchable as the star proceeded to bend over and bust out her own twerk moves and motorboat a woman’s large derriere. Other unappealing highlights of the show include the young Cyrus removing her original outfit to reveal latex lingerie and a foam finger with which she defiled herself onstage as well as twerking, again, on R&B singer Robin Thicke with a creepily 80’s rock band Kiss-esque elongated tongue hanging out of her lipsticked mouth – an uncharacteristically distasteful choice of his.

Robin Thicke and Miley Cyrus during their VMA performance
Robin Thicke and Miley Cyrus during their VMA performance

Though the performance has been endlessly ridiculed since airing, Cyrus seems not to recognize just what an absolute idiot she has made herself out to be. She has not commented on the negative feedback about the performance that has flooded social networks, but has instead tweeted delusional positive remarks from her own father, who she quoted last Wednesday, “‘Mile, if twerkin woulda been invented…. And I had a foam finger…. I woulda done the same thang you did.’ – DAD.”

In spite of her apparent lack of parental outrage and discipline, Cyrus has received backlash from the rest of the world, including the National Teddy Bear Fund. A representative from the organization was quoted saying, “Miley made a poor choice to use a universally loved children’s teddy bear in an offensive way,” and went on to suggest the singer should donate teddy bears to children in need in order to right the situation. Cyrus has yet to respond to this suggestion.

As the viewing public, we are left to wonder – was it really even Miley on stage the other night? Or was it her evil cousin Luann up to no good once again?

A still of Odom and Kardashian from their show "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"
A still of Odom and Kardashian from their show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”

In other, even more unfortunate Hollywood news there is drama once again in Kardashianland, this time with hilarious sister Khloe. Her seemingly perfect marriage to NBA player Lamar Odom began to show massive cracks to the public eye when news first came out that he was allegedly cheating on the reality television star with an uncertain amount of women, but their adorable image was bust wide open when it was reported that Odom allegedly was being sent to rehab for an addiction to crack cocaine. Odom’s situation has only continued to spiral rapidly downhill since Friday when he was arrested on DUI charges during the morning. The even more shocking rumor amidst all of this scandal is that Khloe is purportedly staying with Odom, according to radio show “The Dirt Report” on CT’s 93.7. Viewers of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” can only hope Khloe spends enough time away from Odom to come to her senses – away from his crack cloud.

2 Comments

  1. I’m not a huge fan of the Kardashians, but I feel for Khloe if her husband really is addicted to crack. My younger brother has been been addicted to cocaine since the 80s – then he jumped on the crack train whenever it hit the scene, battling both crack/alchol for most of the last 20 years, and he’s never been able to quash the habit for more than 4/5 months at a time. We only have to look at Whitney Houston to know the path that crack takes all too often. Prayers to them both.

    As for Miley, I say move along. What she did was just an over-the-top, rather crude version of LIKE A VIRGIN without the classy outfit and Goldie Locks hair. However, if she continues to abuse teddy bears, put her in therapy or arrest her for animal abuse…:)
    Best,
    TB

  2. I love this article and the way the author hits all the key points about the family of K and little Miley Cyrus gone bad. where does carissa get her ideas from???

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