Spoof: Jail ‘N’ Bail participants will actually be arrested

Ryan Morgan, News Editor:
Compared to last year, this year’s Jail ‘N’ Bail participants will notice one major difference. In the past, the Beta Mu Sigma fraternity and the SCSU Police Department have teamed up to raise money for the athletes of Special Olympics Connecticut by charging for “warrants for the arrest” of any willing volunteer on SCSU’s campus. This year, however, those people arrested will not be sitting in a fake jail in the academic quad, as they have in the past–they will be incarcerated in downtown New Haven.
“This is our fifth year hosting Jail ‘N’ Bail and not only will a real jail cell be more authentic but we think people will work harder to raise the money quicker as well,” said Evan Bieber, philanthropy chair. “No one is going to want to sit in a real jail cell with criminals so they are going to raise their bail much quicker than they would on campus.”
The switch came after Police Chief Joseph Dooley said he noticed many students took their time making their bail last year.
“Students were just there to have a good time,” said Dooley. “We are trying to raise serious money here.”
Students, faculty, and staff who are arrested will be taken downtown in police cars, with sirens blaring according to Dooley. At the station, ex-convicts will be waiting to set the participants’ bail.
“In the past we’ve asked kind leaders of the Southern community to pass judgment and set bail but this year we are not messing around,” said Bieber. “We want to scare people. There is nothing like getting yelled at by an ex-convict to motivate you to convince your mommy to bail you out.”
Only after participants make their bail will they receive a free t-shirt. The Fairfield Police Department, who normally assists with the event, instructed their local inmates to personally hand-sew each shirt. The first 50 seniors to make bail will also graduate with a guaranteed 4.0 GPA this spring.
In the past, the top fundraiser has received an all expenses paid trip to a vacation spot. This year, however, Michael Bova, president of Beta Mu Sigma, said it is time to up the ante.
“We are actually going to be handing out real ‘get out of jail free’ cards,” said Bova. “The cards will be redeemable for any crime, and I mean any crime, within the New Haven jurisdiction.”
Jail ‘N’ Bail will be on April 26 from 8:00-5:00 p.m. Warrants are currently available in the police station.