Overwhelming thoughts? You are doing amazing
Danielle Campbell – Copy Editor
I cannot be the only one. There is no way it is just me suffering like this. Stress. School. There are so many things happening I cannot keep up with at all. I have assignments due for classes, for my extracurriculars, I work at three concert venues, I have an internship and a senior class which might as well be another internship, my sister is getting married this weekend, and my aunt in Atlanta just died from covid [the second of my father’s siblings to suddenly pass in the last two years].
Overwhelmed is no longer a word, it is a feeling in my bones. Granted, I took on many of these jobs. I had felt so unproductive and emotional throughout the pandemic I wanted to make up for the uselessness I felt. I am not particularly keen on emotions, although they hit me like a gut punch from a marvel character often. In part, I took a lot of these responsibilities on, so I had no time to feel these wretched emotions, but once in a while, it happens. They seep through to my bones and tears peek out. Gross.
I have said, “I know this is going to catch up with me and it is going to be bad, but I really do not have time for a breakdown,” about five times this week. There is not enough time in my day to be rendered helpless at the moment. If I allowed myself to feel those feelings, as many have suggested, I do not know if I could bring myself back and there is just way too much I need to do. People are depending on me. I have no time to be sad although it is probably much healthier for me to do so.
Are we all collectively feeling this September overwhelm? Like, if we mess up now, we know it will haunt us for the rest of the semester and we will not recover? This is what I am feeling. I have no time to be upset that my weekends do not belong to me but are preplanned by my family until we can get my sister married already [it is almost over].
I have no time to mourn the only aunt to check up on me, the black sheep of both sides of my family, whenever I was sick [and I was sick a lot]. Where do I find the time to sleep when I know it is incredibly necessary for me to take naps, but I am at school the entire day? Food? What is food? I average about a meal a day between no food in classes because of COVID-19, not having the time to go eat, my stressful relationship with disordered eating, and shaky finances.
Let me get this out of the way. Stress is not good for you. Overwhelm is not good for you. You should be eating at least three meals a day. Do not be like me, but if you are like me, how are you doing? How are you feeling? Are you okay?
Listen, I get it. I fully understand your stress. We can not let this get the best of us. I fully support tears in stalls. Hit that cry session in the comfort of a bathroom. I have done it multiple times already. Only a few thug tears are allowed to fall from my eyes in front of others and while not the healthiest, I get it is just a reality for some of us. I do, however, have a therapist and I highly suggest you see someone at the counseling center.
We are not alone. Us – overachievers – as they say. Just wanting to succeed but drowning in that success some days. It is okay to breathe. It is okay to pause for your mental health. Breaks do not make us any less successful. They model to others you can achieve, succeed, and breathe if you need. We are okay even if it feels like we are not. I feel your pain and we will get through it. Here is a moment for you to take if you need one. If you read this article, congratulations, you took a few minutes for yourself. You are doing amazing. We both are. Yay us!