SPOOF: Nickelback to replace Bryson Tiller at upcoming Spring concert

Dylan Haviland – Arts & Entertainment Editor

Larry Tomascak, event managment director of Lyman Center for the Performing Arts, took a brief break from the recent flow of phone calls. He leaned back from his desk; covered in scribbled notes and phone numbers. Over his shirt and tie, he wore a Nickelback, “The Long Road” 2004 tour t-shirt.

“This is history in the making right now,” said Tomascak. “Through hard work and dedication we have managed to finally book Nickleback as our headline performance for Springfest 2016.”

Nickelback, the Canadian mainstream rock band, will be replacing up-and-coming rapper Bryson Tiller on April 23. The band will feature a full band lineup with the talent of Chad Kroeger leading them on.

Tickets sold for the event will remain in possession of the persons that bought them. The time will be pushed to 8 p.m. to give the appropriate space for moving equipment and sound checks for the instruments.

Tomascak, a fan of the band for nearly two decades contacted them through their record company. He felt that a band that has had as much radio-time as Nickelback could provide the Spring Concert with the ticket sale boost it needs.

“This is a milestone for SCSU,” said Ben Asbell, senior and graphic design major. “I can’t believe that my all time favorite band has granted my one wish of coming to campus.”

Kroeger will rock out Nickelback’s most prominent hits at the student event from hard rock anthems like “Savin Me” to the heartfelt melodies such as “If Everyone Cared.”

The performance will feature an ambitious launch of live streaming throughout the campus’ televisions and projector boards.

“Nickelback blasting their hearty heavy rock tunes throughout campus will be a momentous achievement,” said Adanti Student Center director Brad Crerar.

According to Crerar the monitors will provide three distinctive angles of Kroeger while he performs.

“We know what the students want and we should always cater to their needs,” said Tomascak.

Tomascak reportedly contacted Mr. Tiller as soon as the arrangements for Nickelback came into place, he sent his deepest apologies to the artist and explained the financial boost the band would provide.

“Bryson was very respectful about Southern’s decision,” said Tomascak. “It’s not easy telling such a young and talented artist that he is being replaced by someone, but he took it well said it was a great opportunity for the school.”

An anonymous tip pointed out that Tiller may be attending the show to see Nickelback perform, particularly if they include tracks from the album “Silver Side Up.”

To gain experience with equipment Tomascak and Kroeger agreed that student and faculty body members can volunteer to be a part of the road crew. Those who gain over five hours of work time will earn free tickets to the event.

“It is going to take a lot of sweat, dirt and determination to help these guys,” said Robert DeMezzo, director of student life. “But if it means shaking hands with Chad and getting a front row view of a rocking band I’m all in.”

Photo Credit: Still Burning

This article was apart of the Spoof April Fool’s Series. Story information and sources presented are fictional.

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