SPOOF: Papazian to shut down Moore Field House immediately

Edgar Ayala – Sports Editor

Southern’s Athletic Director Jay Moran announced Tuesday night that he made an arrangement with President Mary A. Papazian to permanently shut down Moore Field House immediately starting April 1.

Moran said the field house experienced several paranormal reports over spring break and this past Monday night when student-athletes were doing their workout routines.

“Our student-athletes have been complaining about the gym lights going on and off,” said Moran. “Some athletes said they heard the sound of a little girl crying coming from the second floor. While others said the doors open and close by themselves.”  

After students came back from spring break, Moore Field House hasn’t been the same for Southern’s athletes. According to Associate Director of Athletics and Communications, Michael Kobylanski, 13 different student-athletes have experienced some type of paranormal encounters.  

Of the 13 student-athletes, Kobylanski said five of them called the police. But police officials didn’t have an explanation as to why the lights were going on and off, and as to why the doors open and shut.  

“It’s a disaster,” Kobylanski said, “our athletes have been coming up to Jay and I about how the field house is haunted. We didn’t believe them at first, so we spent one night inside the field house. After that, we never wanted to go back.”

Southern’s track and field player Mike Lee said he came for a late night run, when of all of a sudden, the lights turned off.  Lee said he thought the power went out or someone turned them off by accident.  

“At first I thought there was a power outage. Then three seconds later the lights came back on, so I continued to do my running.  About 10 seconds later the lights went off again, and that’s when I freaked out,” said Lee.

Lee wasn’t alone, as the Owls point guard for the women’s basketball team experienced the same.  Senior Nicole Grossbard said after doing some basketball training Monday night, she headed toward the locker rooms where “weird” things happened.  

When Grossbard was heading out, the door to the girl’s locker room was wide open for her.  She added that the door opened even before she pulled on the handle, as these weren’t automatic doors.  

“I walked in and the door opened by itself,” Grossbard said. “I thought I was hallucinating. Then when my whole body was completely in, the door shut and made a really loud noise when it closed. So I grabbed my stuff and ran out.”  

According to Moran, paranormal investigators are expected to come this Friday and investigate the building for further incidents.  Moran said if the paranormal investigators find more “strange and bizarre” things, Moore Field House would be bulldozed.  

In addition to finding “strange and bizarre things,” the paranormal investigators said in a phone call to Moran that if they find the paranormal activities of interest to them, they might pitch it to Syfy network’s “Ghost Hunters.”  

“Ghost Hunters,” is a Syfy paranormal reality television series that features paranormal investigators, Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson, investigating places that are reported to be inhibited by ghosts, demons, spirits and other paranormal activities.  

Further investigations on Moore Field House are still going on.  But no student, faculty or staff is to be in or around the presence of the field house until the paranormal investigators come this Friday night at an attempt to scare the “spirits” away.  

According to Moran, any student that is found inside Moore Field House Friday night will face severe consequences and a fine of $1 million.  

Photo Credit: Edgar Ayala – Sports Editor

This article was apart of the Spoof April Fool’s Series. Story information and sources presented are fictional.

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