Ali Iacono – Lifestylist –
“Your mother would be ashamed of your decisions.”
As the words violently paraded their way out of his filthy trap, they transformed themselves into a sharp knife; its blade piercing through my vulnerable skin and into my pounding heart. My teeth clenched and my eyes immediately filled with tears as the words danced into my ears and made themselves comfortable within my mind. My heart stumbled over a beat as the words echoed within my body.
As I struggled to regain focus on the argument that was taking place in the reality that the words had sucked me out of, I couldn’t help but let them get the best of me as I questioned the validity of the statement.
After my mother’s heart unexpectedly silenced its rhythm, I lost my balance on this tightrope called life. Yes, I made poor decisions, poor decisions that can’t be reversed or easily forgotten. I lacked a care in the world since my world was completely stripped from beneath my feet within a matter of seconds. Death seeped its way into my being and regained full control. Its grimy hands tore away at my morals that were once so gently and perfectly put into place by my mother.
My mother was gone. I was gone.
My heart ached as the words wrapped around it, my eyes burned as they tried to prevent the tears from leaping over the brim, my mouth remained sealed as my body sat motionless and numb.
Was it true? No Ali, how could such a cruel statement be true? She loved you. She loves you.
As I contemplated the horrid statement that, unwelcomingly made a presence within my thoughts, my stunned emotion transformed into anger. Needless to say I was pissed. No wait, I’m still pissed.
As an extremely emotional individual, I completely understand that during the climax of an argument you are bound to unleash some demonic lingo that at a later date you’ll regret ever speaking. However, excuse me for not being so forgiving this time around. I mean, how could I be?
Side note: I know you’re probably wondering who “he” is that demonstrated such disrespectful and inconsiderate behavior toward me; however, quite frankly it’s none of your business. Actually, none of this is. Ouch that was harsh of me, but it’s true!
Okay, assuming I didn’t lose any readers from that remark, back to the story. As my anger spiraled within me and my thoughts ran wild, I recognized that as malicious as the comment was, there was in fact some truth behind it. To an extent the idiot was correct. Yes, I’ve made poor decisions that my mother would have wanted to shy her face from. I have undergone moments of pure selfishness where I didn’t give a rats…about anything or anyone.
As much as my stubborn self hates to admit it, there have been a number of moments where I thought to myself, “Mom wouldn’t have liked that.” Each time such a moment has occurred, guilt has completely swallowed me whole and then spit me back out to try and regain control of the situation.
However, I’m sure you have done something that your mother or father would not approve of whether they are still on this Earth or not. In fact, I think it’s safe to say we have all betrayed our caretakers at one point or many points. At the end of the day, we are human it’s what we do best and it’s what we do worst. Making mistakes is in our nature; however, it’s how well you regain focus and control following your mistake that defines who you are as a person. It’s simple, either you learn from your mistake and avoid repeating history or your life becomes as consistent as the repetitive melodies of a broken record. Oh and it’s safe to say Mr. low blow himself has done plenty of disappointing things that his parents would not approve of.
Arguments are unfortunately bound to happen (sometimes more often than they should); however, it’s crucial to keep in mind that life does not have a reset button and what’s said is said. When opening your mouth, use caution because sometimes words can cause more harm than good actions.
