Today: Jul 17, 2024

Gossip guys: forget the stereotypes, they talk


Girls talk. They talk about boys, they talk about grades, they talk about sex, and they even talk about talking (I rest my case). Our species revolves around analyzing events, breaking down statements, evaluating motives and spreading our discoveries. Whether or not this is true for everyone, we have been known to be considered gossip machines, ever consuming our lives with (sometimes insignificant) occurrences and outrageous information.

The second something less than boring happens, maybe with a “love interest,” we run and tell our friends. If we hear something about someone in our immediate group of girls, we tell them (of course). It gets to the extent where we play that “he said, she said” game on a daily basis. If only we could calm down a little and resort to a more laid back, less person-absorbed form of communication– like guys, right?

Well, my recent realizations reject this theory that guys don’t “talk.” Oh, guys talk. They talk just as much as us—just not in that same analytical manner, I suppose. They may have had us fooled that they don’t consume their time with details and news, but it’s a trick. They know a lot. They apparently know a lot more than we think.

Just to confirm this observation, I sought out some guys to explain what communication really goes on between buds. Brendan Lang, a recent graduate of Albertus, said “we definitely talk, but not as excessively [as girls].” This seems reasonable, and obvious to some. But the real question here is, how much do guys talk, exactly?

Guys are considered reasonable, logical thinkers who don’t consume their time with meaningless discussion. So do they tell their friends juicy info on their friend’s partner, spread knowledge of hookups between coworkers and update their friends with recent interactions between love interests? My records show yes’s to these questions, even though guys have supposedly been thought not to bother with such banter.

Lang said he’ll spread word to his buds of “so and so hooked up with so and so,” and talk about a kid in their group of friends behind his back (which apparently isn’t uncommon for men). However, he said he and his friends don’t go into excruciating detail with hookups (really?) but go into vivid detail about fights. Lang did say he won’t fill his friends in on what’s going on in his life until he sees them (he won’t call them up and update them with life changes). We’ll give him that.

On another note, John Hoda, 29 of West Haven, says his friends will tell all about a hookup, but he doesn’t believe half of it seeing as men apparently tend to fabricate the experience to their egotistical advantages. When he was younger, he said he spread word more frequently but verbal reservation has come with age. Most of his “gossip” can wait till the next day.

I recall one of my guy friends telling me that a boy I’d been talking to had texted him (my guy friend) telling him I responded to a text he (the boy) sent me (on the same night). That’s a little far-fetched from what I would expect of guy talk, but I rest my case. There had also been “talk” amongst this boy and his friends that they saw my ex at a party.

Yet again, another guy friend of mine called me minutes after my friend had left a bar with his teammate to inform me of the matter.

In addition, an instant relay of hookups between my coworkers had occurred among our staff after the scandals happened. I guess guys aren’t as quiet as we assume.

Two of my other guy friends, however, claim they fill in their friends of the juice in a delayed fashion (they won’t text their bro at a bar to tell them his girl is there that night, or that she is all over some dude). It’s more sensible to wait until the next day so no one’s night is ruined. I recall several moments, contrastingly, where I would tell my friend the minute I saw her love interest out.

All the guys I spoke to admit “Oh yes, we talk,” with prideful snickers, but the difference is in the analyzing aspect of the conversation. Guys may not pick apart reasons and details behind occurrences, but, unlike the laid-back creatures they are, they certainly spend time spilling the dirt.

So there are obviously differences in male and female communication. But if you do something ladies, don’t doubt a male specimen spread the rumor.

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