Chardoneé Wright — Staff Writer
It always boggles my mind when I hear young men and women of my age talk about marriage— not in a degrading manner—rather, the expectations of marriage to them personally. Long gone are the days that marriage is actually looked upon as a holy covenant ordained by God between two Christians for the purpose of kingdom building.
I am 22 years old with no children, and I do expect to be married one day in the future. As I read the tweets, Faceboook statuses and retweets of my peers that have to do with dating, love and marriage, I am almost taken aback by how little we, as a young generation, cherish and respect marriage.
I am not playing the blame game here because if someone has witnessed bad experiences pertaining to a divorce of their parents, being raised in a single-family home, etc., then your image of marriage can be distorted.
Before getting serious with my walk with Jesus Christ, I didn’t know too much about what the purpose of a marriage was and what God’s expectations were amongst two individuals. All those things used to mean nothing to me. But as I began to read and study my Bible, I found different scriptures pertaining to marriage that made me really evaluate my entire “love life.”
First off, many of us young women have embraced a “miss independent” demeanor. Being able to provide for yourself, having your own money and paying your bills is wonderful, and I am all for it. Yet, I’ve noticed that it is hard for some women to accept compliments from men, or it is hard for a woman coming to terms with a guy treating them like a gentleman ought to. I know this firsthand because I used to think and behave that way. Every male is not a dog, ladies, and there are “good men” out there.
The Bible states that God created a woman to be a man’s helper, not his enemy. Releasing past hurts, pains and experiences is the first step in restoration and healing of your mind and emotions. You absolutely cannot take old garbage into new relationships. Point blank, garbage stinks. Garbage needs to be dealt with before you allow yourself to emotionally become involved with someone else. It is perfectly fine to take some time out for yourself to brush yourself off and clear your mind without any distractions. Trust me, a guy or girl can definitely be a distraction. Sometimes it could be innocently, but if you are not careful, they can take up too much of your time.
This article isn’t just for the women, because I know of some men who have gotten their hearts broken by women as well. Whatever gender you are, the same rule still applies.
While I am still trying to figure it all out with the whole dating/marriage aspect of things, there is one man that I have found that has made things a lot better. His name is Jesus Christ, my personal Lord and Savior. Some of you reading this article may not be a Christian, or you may have your own personal beliefs that all of us are entitled too, but I chose to follow God. In my journey of this Christian walk, it is all revolved around faith.
Now what is faith? Faith is believing God for things that you can’t see with our natural eyes; things that have not come to pass yet. Faith is feeling sick in your body, but proclaiming that you are healed. Faith is having a negative amount of money in your bank account, but believing God that your bills are going to be paid some way. As I began to study what God expects out of relationships, I had a revelation that God wants you to have prosperity, success and joy in all relationships, especially your marriage.
Now, you can look at marriage the way the world looks at marriage, and that is two individuals making a lifetime commitment to each other. Or you can view marriage the way God sees it: a man and a woman ordained by God who enter into a lifetime covenant in order to do the works of the Lord. The one scripture that always comes to mind is Proverbs 18:22: “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” (NIV).
If you break that scripture down, you will notice that it says, “He who finds a wife.” This means we do not go around searching, ladies. That also means that you don’t have to go the extra mile to try and impress a guy, because the right one will be attracted to your inner beauty and not what materials adorn your body. And guys, this means that you also do not have to literally “search” for the right woman, yet you leave it in God’s hands and ask Him to lead you to her. Therefore, it works both ways.
Before you can even get into all of the logistics of marriage, you actually have to be content being alone and enjoy the single life. That was a hard pill for me to swallow at one point. It is OK if you are single. Actually, I believe it is best because you are free of distractions. Therefore, if you are single, allow God to work on you because we all have some things that need to be fixed. Before God sends you His best, He works on the inside of you.
Additionally, I’ve learned that there are so many goodies in the Bible if you would only take the time out to read it. There is encouragement, wisdom and an answer to every problem you may ever have in your life. You must also be aware that we are living in a time where a lot of men and women couldn’t care less about what the Bible has to say and want to follow the world’s way of living. This scripture came to my mind: 2 Timothy 4:3-4 (NIV): “For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.”
I firmly believe we are living in the time where a lot of people do not have their ears tuned into sound doctrine (Bible), but rely on reality shows, myths or whatever else comes their way to define what they want out of their lives. I am writing to encourage you to seek after God, the creator of all of the Earth. Everything that I write has come from personal experience and not just what I’ve heard. I feel like my life is just beginning since I’ve started this Christian walk, and I hope you also can experience this amazing joy that Christ has filled me with.
God actually does care about your entire life, not just your finances or blessings, but your relationships as well. He wants you to be in healthy relationships. You need wisdom to be able to strategize who is best for you and who isn’t. You need God to order your steps so that you can see trouble afar, before it even tries to hit you. Now, how do you attain this wisdom? Ask, seek and knock on God’s doors. His line is always open 24/7, and He is always willing and able to answer.
