JESSICA GIANNONE — Opinions Editor
So, after 21-plus years, you’d think a girl should learn a thing or two about deciphering statements from people. By this I mean that what people say isn’t always what they’re really implying, so it’s up to us to crack the code. Everyone is full of it from time to time. So here are a few comments (from guys and girls) I’ve interpreted as, well, BS (sometimes):
Guy
What they say is: You seem nice, I’d definitely like to get to know you on a deeper level.
What they mean is: You seem easy, I’d definitely like to get to know you on a physical level.
Girl
What they say is: Aw, is that your friend? She seems nice.
What they mean is: Who the hell is this? I’ll kill her if she touches you.
Stanger
What they say is: Oh, you’re going for (random degree)? That’s interesting.
What they mean is: Sucks for them, their life is a joke.
Guy
What they say is: I’m not in the mood for Italian.
What they mean is: I’m not in the mood to blow 70 bucks on pasta.
Girl
What they say is: She’s cute and funny.
What they mean is: She’s not good-looking, but she’s my friend and she needs a date.
Friend
What they say is: Can you drive? I have no gas.
What they mean is: I’m cheap.
Guy
What they say is: Baby I can’t tonight, I have a lot of stuff to do.
What they mean is: I’m prepping for my fantasy draft.
Girl
What they say is: I thought you said you were coming with me to Grandma’s?
What they mean is: You better not blow me off you son of a *****.
Guy
What they say is: So would you ever want to hang out?
What they really mean is: Is it possible we will ever have sex?
Girl
What they say is: I have a headache.
What they mean is: We’re not screwing tonight.
Guy/Girl
What they say is: Your mom is so nice.
What they mean is: That woman is a nutcase; thank God she’s not my mom.
Guy
What they say is: That guy’s a loser.
What they mean is: He’s bigger than me.
Girl
What they say is: Oh, I thought we would watch a movie tonight?
What they mean is: I’m jealous you’re going out with your friends and not me. Jerk.
Friend
What they say is: No, you look cute. I just like the other shirt better.
What they mean is: That shirt is disgusting, are you blind?
Guy
What they say is: You’re just so cute.
What they mean is: How many more times do I have to flatter you before you’ll sleep with me?
Girl
What they say is: I didn’t know you knew her, that’s so funny!
What they mean is: Are you attracted to her?
Friend
What they say is: Sorry, that was my last piece.
What they mean is: Screw you.
Guy
What they say is: That’s your sister? Oh.
What they mean is: She’s hot.
Girl
What they say is: Oh, I love them!
What they mean is: I have no idea who that band is.
Guy/Girl
What they say is: You look nice tonight/That’s new.
What they mean is: Who have you got to impress?
Guy
What they say is: I’m an independent real estate developer.
What they mean is: I’m unemployed/sell drugs for a living.
Girl
What they say is: Do you like blondes?
What they mean is: If I don’t dye my hair, should I worry?
Guy
What they say is: If you need a ride home, I can drive you.
What they mean is: So we’re going to have sex, right?
Guy/Girl
What they say is: I’m sorry, I was really drunk last night.
What they mean is: I drink too much; don’t judge me.
Guy
What they say is: Five more minutes.
What they mean is: Just wait for me to nuke this guy in COD.
Girl
What they say is: You’re not sleeping here tonight?
What they mean is: So, you’re gay?
