Ex alert: far too much irony for just one week

JESSICA GIANNONE — Opinions Editor

There is probably nothing in the world that can compare to the past week. Possibly a melodramatic statement? Maybe. But true? Yes.

There have been people who chatter about fate and irony as they chew on the idea of an ultimate plan—a destiny for this crazy life.

Occasionally, there will be moments when we haphazardly but conveniently stumble upon a person, place or thing and say to ourselves, “OK, really? This just happened?” These moments can seem good or bad, but at the end of the day, it makes it hard to acknowledge them as mere coincidences.

They can be moments where you are planning to meet with someone but it conflicts with your schedule or an event. Then, conveniently, the person gets sick and you’re able to go to your event. Then you bump into them a week later just in time for a lunch date in between classes. (OK, so this obviously isn’t quite that big of a deal. But do you ever wonder why things happen to work out in your favor in some wacky, mysterious way)? Or maybe you wonder why things don’t usually go your way. But who can know whether life was helping us out or not?

I’m going to be cliché and reiterate the statement that “everything happens for a reason.” Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. But if there’s no explanation for my life circumstances, then I give up analyzing my existence.

Alas, my last week experience. What are the chances that you bump into not one, but two, of your exes three times in one week (three consecutive days, to be more specific)?

It’s not even the fact that I bumped into them; it’s just the way things happened to work out afterward. (Should I mention the recent snow as well? Was it an incentive from the universe to throw in another random occurrence to exaggerate the fact that my life is ever-ironic?)

So I’m making my way around SoCo’s when some kid comes up to me. The kid sarcastically suggested I knew “his friend” (my first ex). I carelessly responded with a British accent and told him my name was Emily, I was from London, and I didn’t know what he was talking about. That game was short-lived when my ex came over and broke the conversation with his awkward interpretation of a British accent. I guess the hatred between us was broken with drunken role-playing. Long story short, it took an hour for him to spill his guts and conclude our little classy reunion (after we haven’t spoken in a bitter two years).

It gets better.

In the midst of my rambling about this surprising experience the next day (I didn’t expect to ever see my former ex again,) another fellow happened to step into the scene. We’ll call him Ex Number Two. I’m assuming he overheard at least some of my conversation, as he clearly avoided my eye contact until I shouted his name across Wintergreen. Did I mention none of them go to Southern? (He was paying a three-month-old parking ticket by the way.)

Nonetheless, he couldn’t have “bumped into” me at a worse time. Not only did I (unintentionally) break his heart, but he had to hear about my first ex. Great. We talked briefly, but it wasn’t very pleasant.

Then let’s see. Who do I come across, yet again, the next night at a Halloween party? Ex Number Two of course. It was just an exchange of “Hellos.” Ha, ha, ha.

OK, maybe I’m being stalked. I’ll stop blaming the universe if one of them admits they knew my whereabouts. Seriously though, Ex Number Two didn’t know anyone at that party as far as I’m concerned.  And I’ve never seen my first ex at SoCo’s.

In comes the significance in all of this: (I don’t know, actually. Sorry to leave you hanging.)

I just want to shout out to the world: “Why do things like this happen?”

Why do we talk about someone, then run into them five hours later? Why do we manage to stumble across every kind of incident at once, at the most unbelievable times?

I guess I’m one of those people who dwells on fate and irony; the kind of person who forever questions her past and fate.

Wait. Hold this thought. As I was writing this my first ex just texted me. I’m honestly not kidding. Really!? Really!?

I was going to keep rambling on about irony at this point to draw some sort of satisfying conclusion but now I guess I just rest my case.