Today: Jun 18, 2024

Editor’s Note: Top ten ways to go broke

If you would like to keep your money, the opposite list is the recommendation.

1. Go to strip clubs: what better way to spend your hard-earned money than by taking half of your bank account out in $1 bills and throwing them at somebody’s daughter?

1. Feed a drug habit: have some disposable income? Four out of five Charlie Sheens would agree nothing is better for an overstuffed bank account than a mountain of cocaine.

3. Shoes: Let’s get some shoes—let’s get ‘em.

4. Crash your car: Why play it safe? Tailgate that baby-on-board sticker. Once they lose sight of your headlights, they’re sure to drive faster.

5. Become a Jersey Shore character: If Snooki can do it, why can’t you?

6. Get arrested: Not only will the bail empty your bank account, but your lack of any future jobs will ensure lower funds for years to come.

7. Accidental pregnancy: Not much needs to be said here.

8. Sign up for all of the credit cards:

nothing that’s bad can be shipped in the mail— right?

9. Ralph Nader: He’ll win this year. That is if your bank account has anything to say about it.

10. Become a high-roller: always bet black— you’re welcome.

This is worth reiterating: for those of you who would like to survive in the World, enjoy the opposite of this list.

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