Today: Jun 18, 2024

Facebook Relationships — It’s complicated


“Facebook Relationships:” This is the name I give to those relationships that are more or less lived out on Facebook. How do you know if you are in a Facebook relationship? Well, if you excessively post pictures, statuses and wall comments about your significant other and what’s going on in your relationship, you are a member of this club. And in case you were fuzzy on what constitutes excessiveness, if it’s in my newsfeed every several minutes, then yes, it is excessive.

There is no need to post 101 pictures of you kissing your significant other at every angle possible with captions under every picture proclaiming your undying love for that person. Enough with the constant status updates about how much you love your “baby” and about how you just finished each other’s sentences two seconds ago. Spare posting the details of every single thing you did with that person for the entire week. And please stop with the continuous “I love you” wall comments back and forth between each other, or posting things on each other’s walls that should really be said behind closed doors (I won’t even go there).

Here’s some advice: Publicizing every detail of your relationship on Facebook is not only obnoxious, but a sure way to catastrophe. I have seen it cause nothing other than problems with all who participate in it, and I personally think it is the root of all evil.

First of all, if you are constantly publicizing your relationship on Facebook, when do you have time to actually be in your relationship outside of the social media site? While this may not be the case with everyone, I know people who spend more time putting up pictures and posting statuses about their relationships than actually spending time in their relationships; it is absolutely absurd. Instead of writing about how in love you are with someone, why don’t you actually show it by getting your face out of the computer screen and paying attention to your significant other? If you find yourself paying more attention to Facebook than to your boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s only a matter of time before they get fed up.

Another problem with displaying all of your business about your relationship is that all 1,000 of your Facebook friends are going to see it. This opens up Pandora’s Box and gives anyone the floor to talk about your relationship behind your back, pry into your business, or ask you questions you may not want to answer.  Not to mention it gives people more of an opportunity to spread rumors about your relationship or to even make a mockery of it. I once knew someone who was constantly on and off with her boyfriend and never hesitated to post the changes on her Facebook page. Because of this, people who saw this would often make fun of the relationship. She also made a habit of posting statuses about being angry at her boyfriend instead of directly telling him she was upset with him. As a result, he would think everything was great until he would see the postings. If you are someone who does this, STOP NOW. Not only is it inconsiderate and immature, but it’s unfair to do this when you haven’t even confronted the person. Communication is a very important aspect of being in a relationship, and if you can’t directly address a problem, then you won’t get very far. With that being said, the relationship didn’t last; the girl’s boyfriend grew tired of being made to look like a fool on the site for everyone to see.

This brings me to my next point: you post things because you want people to see them, right? That is the whole point of posting something on Facebook; you want people to know about it. It screams “Hey look everyone! I’m in a relationship! Someone likes me and I want everyone to know!” This is a problem within itself. Why do you care if people know you are madly in love with your boyfriend or if you two are fighting? If you care enough where you need to constantly post something about it, then maybe you need to look within yourself and figure out if you are in the relationship for the right reasons. Relationships aren’t meant to be paraded around and showcased like prized trophies. It’s normal to want people to know that you are happy and in love, but you need to remember that some things are meant to be just between you and that other person and not for everyone on your friends list to follow and judge. People don’t need to know about every high and low and every bump in the road. If that’s the case then you might as well be in a relationship with all of your friends on Facebook while you’re at it. If you feel like you need to constantly publicize your relationship, then maybe you should rethink your priorities.

And maybe it’s my fault for addictively scrolling down the newsfeed when I’m bored or just being plain nosey. But let’s face it; we all do it, and it doesn’t make your postings any less excessive or unnecessary. There is a world outside of Facebook, so try to spend some time with your significant other out there.

1 Comment

  1. Omg you took the words right out of my head!! You made such a valid point. Any relationship I was in I never broadcasted on fb. I’ve may have posted 1 picture or 2 pictures but that’s it. I never felt the need to publicize and plus I don’t like people in my business. People are just looking for attention in the worse way. People shouldn’t have to prove to the world that their in this great relationship. The best relationships are the ones that people don’t know much about. I think it all balls down to insecurities in their relationship and with themselves. People depend too much on social media. I’m trying to just stay away from Facebook. It’s not easy getting away from it but it can be done with finding other things to do with my time. It takes away from real communication and interactions. I was born in the 80’s so I remember the good ole days when people would actually call each other, kids would play outside, and nobody would be glued to their phone.

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