Today: Apr 14, 2024

Expensive fantasies


Fantasy Treasure costs $2.5 million and is made of white and yellow gold. It includes 3,400 precious stones, like white and yellow diamonds, pearls and aquamarines. Red Hot Fantasy will cost you only $12.5 million, but it boasts 300 carats of Thai rubies. And if rubies don’t float your boat, how about Harlequin Fantasy? It is covered in luxurious Damiani white, champagne and cognac- colored diamonds and will set you back, oh, let’s say $3 million.

You want to know what the heck I’m talking about, right? I’ll give you a hint. No, these are not some outrageous necklaces or bracelets from the latest Tiffany’s collection. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the world’s most expensive bras! Yes, bras!

All of these are Victoria’s Secret jewel-en- crusted fantasy bra collection, showcased during their Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show every year.

Top paid supermodels like Heidi Klum, Gisele Bundchen and Miranda Kerr sashay through the runway, wearing nothing but the world’s most ex- pensive bras and panties, sparkling and glistening as if they were dipped in diamonds.

Now, I like diamonds as much as the next girl and hope we do stay best friends for years to come. And I do appreciate the breathtaking beauty of a woman’s body and its seductive curves. I get all that, and I’m a fan. But I have to admit, I’m not feeling it for these overhyped, overpriced and overdone articles of clothing.

The first question that pops into my mind when I see them is “why?” I believe any woman would agree with me that bras are all about com- fort. Bras that gouge into your skin, don’t provide enough support, or cause occasional spillage soon feel like torture devices that we just can’t wait to take off at the end of the day, no matter how much they cost. And these jewel-encrusted babies don’t scream comfort at me.

The next thing I think about is who in the world would buy these things? Who are these people? And could they please come forward? Are they the ones who carouse on their private yachts around their private islands? Are they the 1 percent about whom “Occupy Wall Street” is protesting against? Call me crazy, but I would like to see a sales report on the world’s most expensive lingerie and figure out the demographics of those buyers.

And as we all know, size matters and bras are no exception. I wonder if these fantasy bras are offered in real women’s cup sizes, like CC or DD. Because imagine you finally wet your man to empty his wallet and fork over $5 million for something you would only wear once, but get turned down at the store because they don’t have your size. Oh, bummer! Or imagine the embarrassment if the sales clerk leads him by the elbow into the corner and discreetly whispers “Sir, we would love to re- size this particular piece and make it four sizes big- ger with even more diamonds and rubies on it, but we’re now talking about something in the ball park of errrr, hmmm, I don’t know, $7 million?”

Maybe that’s why they are called fantasy bras: because they’re actually supernatural phenomena and not real. Perhaps it is nice to fantasize about them and try to imagine what it would feel like to have one in your possession. But I think at the end of the day, a true woman will not be able to wait to take it off, because after all, she doesn’t want any- thing to stand between her and the man she loves, even if it’s diamonds.

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