Dear Dr. Strangelove,
I have always trusted my boyfriend. We’ve been together for over two years, and I’ve never had any insecurities or doubts about our relationship. The sex has always been intimate, and he always seems to be satisfied. However, I recently found out he has an outrageously giant stash of porn in his underwear drawer. Now, I know jerking-off is nothing out of the ordinary, and it’s obvious he’s part of the horny herd. But I had no idea he was a giant closet porno-fanatic. It isn’t normal. I could see if he filled me in on his dirty fantasies, but it’s just the fact that he has so much of it, and he acts like he never needs to do the deed himself. I want to see why he is so obsessed with porn but don’t want to seem accusing or insecure, even though that’s what I feel I’m turning into. What should I do?
-Need a Hand?
Dear Need a Hand,
First off, before you start questioning your boyfriend, you should make sure he really is jerking-off as much as you think. Try not to jump to conclusions. Who knows, maybe he’s just collected a stash over the years since he was a 13-year-old horny teenager. Just look more into it. If he really is as obsessed as you say he is, you obviously have to do what makes you feel at ease in the relationship. If you can live with his addiction (he is a guy), then there shouldn’t be a problem if you’ve made it this far with a steady relation- ship. If it bothers you to the point where it changes everything, you should confront him in a way that isn’t judgmental or condescending. You shouldn’t be worried about what your boyfriend thinks of you to the point where it makes you question yourself. Do you really trust him? Either way, it seems to have been fine this far. Trust your gut!
-Dr. Strangelove
