The ‘mechanics’ of life

JESSICA GIANNONE — Opinions Editor

Life lesson No. 1: You will fall off the bull.

As I strongly suggest keeping that in mind before you hop on a mechanical maniac, I am actually talking about life too. Though, it’s surprising how much your days compare to a rusty old moving metal bull at a small bar, waiting to just fling you off if you’re not careful.

Last Saturday night my friends and I went to Cadillac Ranch, a bar in Southington—if you want to call it that. When my brother warned me to expect a crowd of 40-year-old men and cow people line dancing, he wasn’t kidding.

So, I trotted on up to the intimidating hunk of [1] “whatever you call it that was probably infested with herpes,” covered with cow print, beer and sweat, and hopped on.

After slamming myself over the saddle, I had the misconception that my goal was to stay on. Sorry honey, you’re going to get flung off eventually, not to mention a tequila-filled blood stream wouldn’t help.

This brings me to my little lesson. We have to realize that getting spit off the ride is inevitable. We focus on trying to stay on, but it has to end some time. Once I accepted that I was going to fall anyway, I just enjoyed as much as I could while it lasted (but I have to brag, I stayed on pretty long compared to my drunken friends).

Lesson No. 2: There will be people that cheer you on, and there will be people that laugh in your face.

I don’t think there is much to explain for this one. On the bull, an excited crowd was rooting me on for simply getting onto the device. Then there were others who were cracking up at my pathetic plop down. However, the crowd didn’t seem to impact my time at all. I was just clinging on for dear life, oblivious to opinions of me.

The lesson is, if you get too preoccupied with the reaction of others, you won’t be thinking about what the hell you’re doing. Not everyone will like you, but at least you can laugh at yourself. Thus:

Lesson No. 3: You will need to laugh at yourself to survive.

Enough said. Either whine about how you were defeated or appreciate the humor. Who doesn’t love a dazed and confused 21-year-old getting flung off a mechanical bull?

A final tip: please take a lot of pictures. You will want some kind of proof that you rode the ride, made a fool of yourself, fell down and got back up.

In the midst of all this chaos, just try to minimize the beer.

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