SIMONE VIRZI — Copy Editor
Let’s face it: guys cheat.
You can easily think you’re dating Mr. Wonderful, but are you really with Mr. Shady? I talked to one guy, who has cheated several times on both an old and a current girlfriend. Insisting on being kept anony¬mous, he answered some questions everyone’s wondered about cheating.
Why do Guys Cheat?
Every guy is ultimately different, but many cheat for the same reason: they are unhappy in their rela¬tionship. According to my source, he has cheated because he “wasn’t getting any” and he “felt an urge to … ” you get the idea. He added he has also cheated because he and his current girlfriend were fighting. (I would think that cheating would only lead to further arguments, but what do I know?) He added he cheated on a girlfriend in high school because it was an excuse to break up with her.
Who They Cheat With
Some people think a guy in a relationship simply picks up a girl at a bar, but that is not always the case. In fact, my source said every girl he has cheated with has been a female he was friends with. By doing this, he already knows and trusts the girl, believing she will not go back to his girlfriend and say anything. He said he was physically attracted to the girls but there was not an emotional connection.
What are You Thinking?
Before and while he is cheating, my source said he has never thought about his girlfriend. He said while cheating, he has the thoughts any single guy would have while they are hooking up. He also said when he sees his girlfriend afterward, he does not feel guilty. However, at one point, he said it was difficult to look her in the eyes.
Many males who cheat have to lie in order to cover up what they are doing. My source said overall, cheating has been easy; he has taken advantage of the fact that his girlfriend is at work or in class. However, he has lied to her about where he has been while she was elsewhere.
A guy who is lying to his girlfriend can also be lying to the girl(s) he is cheating with. He could easily tell the other girl he cares about her, when in fact the only reason he is talking to her is to get in her pants. He can also say he’s miserable with his girlfriend and is going to leave her, but really has no intention of doing so, as my source has done. As my friend loves to say about cheaters: “He thinks he can have his cake and eat it too.”
Subconsciously Justifying Cheating
My source told me: “Cheating isn’t as serious of a thing until you’re married.” He then went on to refer to marriage as a “holy bond” and a “union between two people.” He said, “Adultery is a different thing than cheating.” Ironically, the girl he is currently dating (and living with) and cheating on, is the same girl he said he plans to marry.
Part of the problem with cheating is the fact girlfriends don’t pay enough attention. If he’s fre¬quently texting a girl, like my source has done in the past, wouldn’t you think, “Maybe I should check his phone?” Especially if the girl has been told by people in the past he’s cheating on her, like the scenario with my source.
Girls can be just as much to blame as guys are. If he’s horny, don’t give the excuse “I’m bloated.” And if that’s the case, you shouldn’t be that surprised if your boyfriend is cheating on you. Guys in their late teens and early 20s are at their sexual peak. I’m not suggesting having sex four times a day, but my source said going weeks without sex is a little drastic.
Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?
Not all guys are compulsive cheaters. Last semester, one of my friends was talking to a guy in a relationship. One Thursday night we were at the club and he made a point to send her a picture of his penis. They hooked up around 2 a.m. in a parking lot. The next morning, he texted her saying he felt guilty and begged her not to tell anyone. He is still with his girlfriend, and I highly doubt he ever told her what happened. Whether he has cheated since then, I do not know for sure, but I do know he was not with my friend again. Therefore, it is possible not all guys are the same.
What’s the Point?
Ultimately, not every guy cheats, and girls can be just as bad. By understanding how and why guys are unfaithful, girls can learn how to keep their boyfriend happy. If you’re dating someone who has cheated on you before, you need to make the decision of whether or not you’re going to stay with them. Not everyone is capable or even willing of changing. On the other hand, if you are involved with someone who is in a relationship, you need to ask yourself why. The person clearly isn’t a great human being, and may simply be feeding you one lie after another. Although it is ultimately your decision, I suggest going with your natural instinct.
An insight into the life of a cheater: The whos, whats and whys of cheating
SIMONE VIRZI — Copy Editor