Today: Jul 23, 2024

Spoof: Former BYU center transfers to Southern: Owls have no honor code

Pete Paguaga, Sports Phanatic:
In the middle of the NCAA basketball sea¬son, Brigham Young University made headlines by kicking star power forward Brandon Davies off the team. The university dismissed Davies because he broke the school’s honor code. BYU, which is a Mormon school, holds their students to this honor code that consists of such rules as being honest, use clean language, live a chaste and virtuous life and also not engaging in sexual activity.
Davies was thrown off for violating the hav¬ing sexual relations part of the honor code. This story has sent shockwaves through all of college sports, arguing whether religion should coincide with sports. Davies, who wants to play basketball next season, has decided to transfer to Southern.
“I am very excited to be an Owl next season,” said Davies. “What really won me over was the fact that Southern doesn’t have the same honor code as BYU did.”

Brandon Davis looking fresh to death in his new Owl’s gear.

Coach Michael Donnelly is excited to add a player of Davies’ caliber, even though he does bring some extra baggage.
“I told Davies that I didn’t care about what hap¬pened this season at BYU,” said Donnelly. “I even helped him get in touch with a real estate agent to get an apartment for him and his girlfriend.”
Davies will be added on to an already ex¬cellent frontcourt for the Owls. He will join sophomore Trevon Hamlet and freshman Greg Langston to form Southern’s own version of the Big-3.
“Are you serious,” said Hamlet, when he found out that Davies would be joining the Owls for next season. “We are not only going to win the NE-10 but we are going to win the whole thing.”
The reason that Davies is able to play right away at Southern is because he will be transfer¬ring from Division-I to Division-II.
“Transferring to Southern will give me the opportunity to start right away and compete for a National Championship,” said Davies.
Davies’ former teammate and the Batman to his Robin, Jimmer Fredette, is happy for Davies, but still upset about what happened this season.
“Look, I am happy for Davies, he’s my boy, but I mean he couldn’t just be like Tim Tebow and wait,” said Fredette, “he cost me a shot at a National Title.”
All of the men’s basketball team knows what Davies did but they are OK with it.
“Whatever he did at BYU is the past. We only care about the future and what he is going to bring to the team,” said Langston.
Davies is happy to be coming to a school and an area where he can go wherever he wants in¬cluding downtown New Haven.
“I cannot wait to go to all the clubs downtown New Haven has,” said Davies. “There is no honor code to break at this school.”
Athletic Director Pat Nicol is pleased to see the men’s basketball program on the rise, but wants to keep an eye on Davies.
“I hope Davies knows that he cannot sign in people after 2 a.m. on the weekends,” said Nicol, “so no bringing girls back from the clubs.”
Davies, coming from a big-time Division-I school, automatically puts Southern on the map for the Division-II championship.
“Of course we are the number one team in Division-II,” said Donnelly, “no one else will be able to compete with our Big 3.”

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