Dear Dr. Strangelove,
So my boyfriend and I have been going strong for a few months now. Here’s the one thing that really bothers me about him, though: He was not atracted to me when we first met (last year).
He said he didn’t think that I was that pretty but that now he thinks I am. I can’t get over the fact that he thought I wasn’t hot. What does this mean for our relationship?
– Love at Second Sight
Love at Second Sight,
If you’re hung up on the past then you’re dooming your future. Stop yourself now. Don’t begin to get insecure about how your relationship started, thus become insecure about what your relationship is, then start doubting your relationship can last, and causing behavior that either pushes him to break up with you or you just decide to “protect yourself” by breaking up with him.
What difference does it make if you’re with him now and he cares about you now and you care about him now? Only the difference you make out of it. So resist the urge to make a mountain out of a nanobyte.
What you’re engaging in is called self-sabotage. Why? That one I can’t answer based on your question. What I can say is that a lot of couples end up together who didn’t think they would when they first met. Yours isn’t a new case or an exception to any rule. Sometimes it’s the second or third time you meet a person when the sparks start. It’s certainly happened to me and almost every other guy I’ve ever met at least once. The only significance might be that at the time you met he was hung up on some other girl or he wasn’t in the mindset. So, relax, go with it instead of trying to fight against it. You’d be amazed what can happen when you allow yourself to be happy in a good relationship. Trust me; love doesn’t always happen at first sight.
Dr. Strangelove
