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How relationships in college can work

10/25/2010
By:

Samantha McKelvie

Staff Writer

Too often I hear people say that having a relationship in college is a mistake. “Relationships in college never work,” “College is a time to be single,” “You’ll regret it”—you get the idea. From my experience, this is how most college students feel about relationships in college.

Now, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t one of these people once. And, although I genuinely felt that college was not the place or time to have a serious relationship, I’d also be lying if I said that part of me felt this way because I myself was not in one. Two and a half years at college and a relationship later, my views on the subject have changed quite a bit.

I’m not saying that having a relationship in college is all roses and rainbows, because it’s not, but I’m not saying it’s something you can’t make work either, because you absolutely can. In any relationship, in college or not, there are challenges that you’ll have to face. If you know how to overcome these challenges and make the best out of your relationship, you’ll reap the benefits. The more work you put into the relationship, the more you’ll get out of it. With that being said, I’m going to share some tips on how to make your relationship in college work. I’m far from a relationship expert, but if it has worked for me, it just may work for you as well.

In order to make your college relationship work, the first thing you must do is make sure you’re ready to be in a relationship. When I got into my first serious relationship at school, I knew I was ready. I experienced the college single life for a good year and a half before I got into my relationship, which is something I think everyone should experience before getting involved with another person.

Then you can say, “Alright, been there, done that, ready to move on.” College is full of learning experiences. It’s where you learn the most about yourself and grow into the person you’re going to be. With that being said, I think it’s important for someone to figure things out and learn to be on their own at college before adding another person into the equation.

You have to love and trust in yourself before you can be with another person. Make sure you know who you are and that you’re at the point in your life where you’re ready for the relationship. Don’t rush into anything if you aren’t sure.

The next thing I want to stress about being in a relationship in college is to not get brainwashed by other people or things. By this I mean don’t let people tell you that your relationship isn’t going to work because you’re in college. Usually the case is that your single friends want their single friend back or “the old you.” Don’t get caught up in the hype.

People just don’t like change but truth is, change is a part of life. Learn to ignore it, because the only opinion that matters is yours. Another thing you’ll hear is that you’re missing out on the full college experience because you’re “tied down.” This is why, as I said before, you should experience college on your own first before getting into a relationship.

Then, you won’t feel like you’ve missed out. And, instead of thinking about what you’re “missing out” on, think about what you’re gaining instead: someone you can spend time with who loves and cares for you. It’s all about how you look at things.

Another important factor in making your college relationship work is how you utilize your time. Yes, it’s important that you spend time with your significant other, but you also need to remember to make time for the other people in your life such as friends and family. Do not cut them out of your life because they are an important part of it and they’re the ones who will be there if your relationship fails. Spend a healthy amount of time with all of the people in your life.

Finally, you need to always be open and honest in your relationship. Don’t lie about going to a party because you think your guy or girl won’t approve. It’s important to have trust in a relationship because without that, there is no relationship. Besides, word gets around fast in college and you don’t want to get caught up in a lie.

I could go on forever but these are the basics things I think will help you make your relationship in college work. Above all, remember to just have fun. You’re young, you’re in school, and the sky is the limit so live life and be happy.

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