Category Archives: Spoof Issue

SPOOF: Papazian to pursue acting career in California


Taylor Nicole Richards – News Writer A few weeks ago, President Mary A. Papazian announced she was leaving Southern and going back to California to be closer to her family. She was offered a position as the new president of San Jose State University, and after much consideration, she informed Southern News that she has declined their offer and decided on a

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SPOOF: Nickelback to replace Bryson Tiller at upcoming Spring concert


Dylan Haviland – Arts & Entertainment Editor Larry Tomascak, event managment director of Lyman Center for the Performing Arts, took a brief break from the recent flow of phone calls. He leaned back from his desk; covered in scribbled notes and phone numbers. Over his shirt and tie, he wore a Nickelback, “The Long Road” 2004 tour t-shirt. “This is history in

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SPOOF: NCAA passes new law to pay athletes


Edgar Ayala – Sports Writer The National Collegiate Athletic Association passed down a new law that will see student-athletes from all three divisions get compensated for their performances.  The new act is set to be in effect beginning on April 1.   The news came abruptly this Wednesday morning when President Mark Allen Emmert announced that he made a “tough” decision for

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SPOOF: Papazian to shut down Moore Field House immediately


Edgar Ayala – Sports Editor Southern’s Athletic Director Jay Moran announced Tuesday night that he made an arrangement with President Mary A. Papazian to permanently shut down Moore Field House immediately starting April 1. Moran said the field house experienced several paranormal reports over spring break and this past Monday night when student-athletes were doing their workout routines. “Our student-athletes have been

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SPOOF: Burrell leaving SCSU to join Los Angeles Lakers team


Philip Zoppi – Sports Writer Scott Burrell announced this week that he is resigning as Southern’s head basketball coach to replace Byron Scott and take the head coaching position for the Los Angeles Lakers.   It has always been Burrell’s dream to find a way back into the NBA.  As a player he averaged 6.9 points per game during his 10 seasons

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