Category Archives: Spoof Issue

SPOOF: NCAA passes new law to pay athletes

Edgar Ayala – Sports Writer The National Collegiate Athletic Association passed down a new law that will see student-athletes from all three divisions get compensated for their performances.  The new act is set to be in effect beginning on April 1.   The news came abruptly this Wednesday morning when President Mark Allen Emmert announced that he made a “tough” decision for

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SPOOF: Papazian to shut down Moore Field House immediately

Edgar Ayala – Sports Editor Southern’s Athletic Director Jay Moran announced Tuesday night that he made an arrangement with President Mary A. Papazian to permanently shut down Moore Field House immediately starting April 1. Moran said the field house experienced several paranormal reports over spring break and this past Monday night when student-athletes were doing their workout routines. “Our student-athletes have been

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SPOOF: Burrell leaving SCSU to join Los Angeles Lakers team

Philip Zoppi – Sports Writer Scott Burrell announced this week that he is resigning as Southern’s head basketball coach to replace Byron Scott and take the head coaching position for the Los Angeles Lakers.   It has always been Burrell’s dream to find a way back into the NBA.  As a player he averaged 6.9 points per game during his 10 seasons

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Spoof: Study proves social media is linked to causing cancer

Natalie Barletta – Special to the Southern News Before you update your status and check your newsfeed, you might want to read this first. According to brand new  research done straight out of Yale, using social networking sites, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, has in fact been linked to cancer.     “According to my recent studies in my super fancy

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Spoof: Southern announced tuition is doubling next year for students

Natalie Barletta – Special to the Southern News One of the perks of attending Southern Connecticut State University is it’s inexpensive tuition. Because Southern is so inexpensive, the dream of becoming a college graduate is much more accessible to a bigger variety of people. However, come fall it’s all going to change. It was just announced that SCSU will be doubling

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