Ellie Sherry — Reporter
This past Wednesday, Billie Eilish released her first song since dropping her debut in March of this year. The song is entitled “Everything I Wanted.”
The song was written because she had a nightmare where she killed herself and no one cared, cried or was sad about her death. She then tributes her brother in the chorus, who comforts her after the dream by telling her, “As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you/ Don’t wanna lie here, but you can learn to/ If I could change the way that you see yourself/ You wouldn’t wonder why you’re here/ they don’t deserve you.”
Eilish also made a reference to her sleep paralysis, as she had done in other songs on her album. In “Everything I Wanted,” she says, “I tried to scream/ but my head was underwater.”
Eilish talked about the song in an interview with Annie Mac where she said, “I mean, the message behind the song is like […] my brother is my best friend, and I have these dreams and these things happen, and no matter what happens, he’s gonna always be there for me, and it’s the same the other way around.”
In the interview with Mac, Eilish talked about her personal experiences with night terrors and sleep paralysis, and how it is something that she has had to deal with almost her whole life. I think that using music to talk about the issues she has and makes other people feel as though they aren’t alone.
The song itself has a very powerful meaning, and I am happy for her that she is able to express her fears and nightmares through music and is able to share that with the public, but I kept waiting for a big moment in the song and it never came.
Also, If I hadn’t listened to the interview of Eilish talking about the song, then I might be a little worried about her actually considering suicide. I say this because she asks herself repeatedly if she would do it again. I am unsure if this is in relation to the dream and contemplating jumping, or if she means that she wouldn’t do either?.
The song felt as though it was leading up to something, but it never quite got there for me. Since the topic of the song is so heavy, maybe that is why she decided to leave the beats and instruments a little on the bland side.
To me this sounded just like another typical Billie Eilish song, and while it is good, and I would listen to it again, I think she has better songs that builds up and leads to something rather than just falling off.
Overall, I would recommend for everyone to listen to the song at least once for the lyrics, but do not get your hopes for any of her cool beats and bass drops in this number. I would be surprised if this is anyone’s new favorite Billie Eilish song.
