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Friends or love, who comes first?


Ali Iacono Staff Writer -

If you’ve been reading my weekly stories, first off, you’re awesome. Also, you’ve probably noticed I thoroughly enjoy writing about relationships. Whether it’s about the magical magic that stirs up inside of you when you’re falling head over heels in love, or the depression that haunts you after love shatters into nothing; I can’t control my urge to put love on blast via writing.

While it’s crucial to learn self-control in certain situations, I refuse to in this case. Writing about the good and bad that comes with being in love is something I have always done because it’s something I have experienced ever since boys stopped having cooties.

Not to mention it feels amazing to get semi-revenge on everyone that’s screwed me over. Even though I don’t use any names, I know that they know I’m referring to them and that greatly satisfies the evil spirit within me. And besides, as far as I see it, if Taylor Swift can do it so can I (that’s probably one of the most illogical things I’ve ever said).

So if you’re growing bored of my relationship rants, then I sincerely apologize, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop now. In fact, I’m going to continue now. Haters, trigger your self-control and stop reading now. But for those of you that are awesome, please feel free to allow your eyes to dance across this debatably nifty story I am about to unveil.

Let’s get to it.

Photo Courtesy | darlaromanomft.com

Photo Courtesy | darlaromanomft.com

My boyfriend and I tend to have some of our most intelligent and smooth-flowing conversations whenever we lay in my bed (let’s keep our imaginations rated PG here folks). So the other day was no different. As we both laid on our backs and pondered life aloud, my boyfriend brought up a very valid point about relationships that I would like to share with my readers.

Once an individual decides to immerse themselves into a new relationship, they should never completely neglect their friendships.

Both my boyfriend and I have grown uncomfortably distant from close friendships due to the fact that we were pretty much replaced. It’s like, you want to be happy for your once lonely friend for finding love, but if they are going to pretty much forget all about your existence, then eff that ish.

I’m proud to say that since we began dating three years ago, my boyfriend and I have always made time for our friends. Not only that, we have both gotten to know and enjoy each other’s friends.

We both have a solid understanding that the majority of our friendships developed long before we even met one another, so it’d be a douche move to not maintain friendships despite being in a committed relationship.

The majority of my boyfriend’s friends are in their later 20’s and thus, looking to settle down, get married and all that jazz. When hanging around the group, I can recall numerous conversations of them contemplating who would be the next person in the group to get married and; therefore, never to be seen again.

One of their friends, who I actually developed a decent friendship with, as well, fell in a love with a girl and from day one of his relationship with her he hardly ever hung around anymore. Days that he would come around, he wasn’t the life of the party that he once was. In fact, he became “that guy” that would leave at the start of a great night.

Within a few months, he announced to the group that he and his boo were engaged. Just a few months later, he was married to her. Now the blissfully wed couple is living in Florida together. Absolutely no one in the group really associates with him anymore, especially since he pushed himself away from his friends once he met his future bride.

Is that what marriage does to people? The second you’re committed to one another by law, you just vanish from humanity?

To an extent this may be true; I’ve seen it with my own family. I remember growing up and always trying to raid my sister’s room when she had her friends over. Ever since she married seven years ago, the only way she’s maintained her friendships is through Facebook! I mean, there is the occasional get together every few months or so, but it’s nothing like it once was.

Though people often associate the word “love” with relationships, I think it should first be associated with friendships. Love is the underlying factor that maintains a friendship. If love for a friend is overshadowed by love for a partner, your friendships are bound for destruction. Your friends should always be there for you, as you should always be there for them.

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